On failing 1
I like to think failure is a sign that you tried something and it didn’t work. Online everyone says embrace your failure, don’t get bitter, focus on lessons you learnt, and etc.; and you know what? They are probably right that this is the correct thing to do. But it doesn’t feel that way when you have failed so much and so long at so many different things. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, it turns your stomach when you lie down, you wake up dreading the private humiliation you go through every time you think about it, you dread going through the ordeal again next 2 months knowing that you’re almost guaranteed to fail this exam or interview or task again. It leaves a futility in your arms and makes you want to stuff your mouth with feel good food and scroll endlessly on twitter. I have failed so much that I do not know who I am again.