Failing 2
When people talk about failure, they don’t really take failing at exams seriously. I mean what are exams in the grand scheme of life? But when you have built your whole identity on being a smart academic guy, it really does wonders to your self esteem the first time you fail. Then you fail again and again and you think “maybe I am not so smart”, and then you turn your attention to other things to take the numbness away. Some do drugs, some turn to spirituality, or drinking. I think I just turned to being an online guy. Always online, following topics I didn’t give a rats ass about. Anything at all, to distract me from the sad tragedy that was my life. Now thinking about it, all my addictions have been to distract from my life, when it was headed the wrong way. I’m in a better place now, but it really did suck then.